OH MY GOD

I have never been more sure I was going to either die laughing or die in alley as I was just now. I swear everything I am about to tell you is 100% true.

So around 3am or so I go to lunch. I've kind of exhausted places that are open at this time ever since I started working this shift. Except place. Waffle House.

So I stroll in a sit down, order 2 eggs scrambled with Raisin Toast and grits, as well as a single order of hash browns scattered smothered diced. As I'm drinking my coffee I notice the group of women near me (hanging out at the kind of bar thing w/ the stools that at every Waffle House) talking quite loudly and swearing often. I decide to eavesdrop as I am alone in Waffle House at 3 in the morning waiting for my food with nothing better to do.

These two women are early 40's I would say and are clearly co-workers. As the coversation goes on I realize that they are both in some sort of management position, as they are constantly talking about their employees and how if they refuse to do work they will be fired. They exchange stories about previous employee's they've had to fire, all girls, because they got lazy or didn't do their job right. It dawns on me when the louder one says "yeah, that Dina fell in love with one of 'em, wouldn't do the work no more and skipped town, if we find her she's dead" I can't believe I didn't catch on sooner.

These women are madams, they run a prostitution ring. The thing is, both of them are wearing Waffle House uniforms. As I listen more they are exchanging stories about customers of theirs. With the copious references to the customers it comes out that most of them are truckers. There are many references to meeting places and the stories all involve nearby locations as the louder mistress is pointing at buildings and places near the restaurant. This is when, as the waitress is filling up my coffee I love out the Waffle House window and see a Motel 6 RIGHT NEXT TO THE RESTAURANT.

This is even more major. They are running their prostitution business OUT OF THE WAFFLE HOUSE.

It comes out in their discussion of upcoming business that a convoy of Covenant Transport trucks are going to be coming through this way on friday night and have reserved their entire staff for a private party.

This is about when I become frightening that this information is being shared while I am in earshot. And almost to raise these fears the quieter mistress asks how much they're making for the party. ($5000 for the whole night if you're curious)

Shit. I now have enough information to bust these people for illegal prostitution. Brian Carnahan's words on what info needs to be said aloud in order to bust you is echoing in my ears. I decided to start pretending to talk on my cell phone and instantly decide this is a bad idea. These people are, as innocent as look, stone cold gangsters. They are threatening to beat people up left and right, or to have them beat up. It's like every stereotype about awful pimps except for the visual ones.

My food comes and I eat it fast, pay for it and get the fuck out of there.

I can't believe the things that occur in the hick part of Hilliard. I am still in a state of disbelief about this, but there's no way anything else was being referred to. The louded woman even once said "she was thinking of going to another madam on the east side for more money but I guess she got busted by that cop that used to come around here." This is the kind of seedy underbelly that you get when you make things illegal. Ick.

Dude. This is a pretty crazy final 3rd shift. I don't know if I can take any more excitement.